IDIOTS AT WORK

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when
the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the
back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not
complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When
I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare
the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed
on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She
carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the
receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call
the local township administrative office to request the removal
of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: many deer
were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She
asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He
said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTINGS

Idiot Sighting #1:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport
employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage
without your knowledge?" I said, "If it was without my knowledge,
how would I know?" He smiled and nodded knowingly,
"That's why we ask."

Idiot Sighting #2:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the
street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker
of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I
explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red.
She responded, appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"

Idiot Sighting #3:

At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who is leaving
the company due to downsizing," our manager spoke up and
said, "this is fun. We should have lunch like this more often."
Not another word was spoken. We just looked at each other
like deer staring into the headlights of an approaching truck.

Idiot Sighting #4:

I worked with an Individual who plugged her power strip back
into itself and for the life of her could not understand why her
system would not turn on.

Idiot Sighting #5:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership
to pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally
locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic
working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched
from the passenger's side, I instinctively tried the door handle
and discovered it was open. "Hey," I announced to the
technician, "It's open!" "I know," answered the young man.
-"I already got that side."

There, now, don't you feel better?